A Question of Gender

My youngest sister has attended antenatal classes over the last two Sundays. She and her wife Penny are 27 weeks pregnant with my newest little niece or nephew. We are all eagerly anticipating their newest little one.

And yes, would you believe it, there are two ‘queers’ in our family.

Out of the three girls in our family, two have ended up with wives. My heterosexual sister, Jacqui, is the odd one out: she likes boys. One ‘boy’ in particular: her de facto partner, Christopher.

The irony of her being the only one out of the four of us siblings (our brother included) who likes males, never ceases to amuse us.

The baby of the brood, Georgie, (the 30 year old who is currently pregnant) and her wife, Penny, are far more patient than I ever was. No way could I have passed up the opportunity to find out the gender of any of my kids when I was pregnant.

Not a chance.

Yet here they are, entering the third trimester with no clue whatsoever of the gender of their darling little one.

Most of us succumb to human curiosity. I have noticed lately, however, that there seems to be a growing swing back towards opting for the ‘surprise’ element and not finding out the gender of a new arrival until birth. Of all the pregnant people I know right now, NONE of them know what gender their baby is. They have purposely opted not to find out beforehand.

A friend from my last workplace is pregnant – she doesn’t know.

A deputy at my current school is pregnant – she doesn’t know.

Another teacher at my current school is pregnant – she doesn’t know.

My sister doesn’t know.

I actually don’t know anyone who is pregnant right now who does know.

How can they not be BURSTING to find out?

I guess it really is such a personal decision. I always liked the opportunity to prepare myself, both in an organisational sense, but also mentally, for my new little cherub.


Patience is perhaps not my forte.

For me it was simply too much temptation to resist finding out when attending the all-important scans along the way to check that all is functioning and growing as it should be.

Did it matter? Of course not, a baby is a baby. I have three boys and two girls, so I am fortunate that I have both gender ‘bases’ covered. I can understand, however, people who have a real desire to have children of both genders.

I also completely understand those who prefer to ‘stick with what they know’.

I thought my brother would be quite disappointed at the prospect of not having a son when his second little girl was born. Knowing it was his last child, I had simply assumed he had his heart set on a little man.

On the contrary. He was, in fact, delighted to have another little lady.

Georgie and Penny are ambivalent. In such a carefree, beautiful way. They will be thrilled for another little boy – a playmate for their adorable two year-old boy, Ashton – but they will also be ecstatic at the prospect of a little girl, to have the experience of the ‘pidgeon pair’ and to be able to know what parenting a daughter is like.

I love their attitude, because it is 100% a win-win.

Most of us are the same.

Whether we head into a pregnancy dreaming of one gender over another or not, the bottom line is, once that little person arrives, they are our sun, moon and stars, and we cannot imagine them being anything else.

Did you find out?

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